A reader told me about this 9 calorie ice cream they have at the Retro Freeze – a little ice cream shop tucked into an inconspicuous corner of the Tollgate Mall Shopping Center between Factory Card Outlet and Bassett Furniture. The reader seemed to be a bit suspicious about the calorie count. I decided to look into it the other night when the kids wanted to go out for ice cream. They had two flavors the day I went: Toffee Nut and Chocolate Raspberry. A little card posted above the ice cream spigot clearly stated “9 calories”. I went with the Chocolate Raspberry. As the worker handed me my cone of the soft-serve stuff, I asked whether it really was 9 calories. Without saying a word, the worker flipped open a black three-ring binder and pointed to a page containing the nutritional stats for the Wow Cow product – protected in a plastic sleeve. I gave it a quick glance and saw there were lots of zeros following words like cholesterol and fat. But I couldn’t study it longer, because the product started melting almost immediately. It was all I could do to snap this photo before the stuff went soft. Thank goodness for the Internet. I found the information listed again here. As you can see, there isn’t much of anything in it. I guess that explains why it hit its melting point before it hit my mouth. Despite its lack of body, the flavor was pleasant enough. Pleasant in the way that yogurt is pleasant, not in the way ice cream is pleasant. You don’t generally see yourself getting the kids all excited by telling them you’re going out for yogurt. Unless, you’re health nuts. Or, if your health prevents you from enjoying ice cream. This stuff is apparently free of just about everything and is even made with delactosed whey for the lactose intolerant. It’s just that it’s a little less tasty than the protein-infused smoothie I get at my health club and its consistency makes it better suited to a cup than a cone.