Aegis headline decoder ring

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Today’s edition of The Aegis has another one of its mind-bending headlines.

“No numbers on no E’s to play”

Unfortunately, this zinger is on its lead story — the first headline you see, the one that’s supposed to grab your interest and make you open up that paper to see what this is all about. The headline is so puzzling it might actually succeed in piquing your curiosity, the way a word jumble or crossword puzzle might. Unfortunately, I read all the way to the jump (the point at which you must turn the page to read the rest of the story) and still I hadn’t learned the significance of the letter “E” and whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. You see, my son is still in elementary school and I’m not yet familiar with the meaning of “Es” on a report card. I found the rest of the story a bit confusing as well. It appears the paper set out to get information that apparently wasn’t available and went ahead with the story anyway.

Now, I used to be in the news business and I know writing headlines is no Ez thing. But it seems these folks need some extra help. If anyone is interested, why not comment in the space below and offer these headline writers some ideas? Think of it like a game “Headline Sodoku” or “Aegis unJumble”

Here, I’ll get it started:
Why not try something like . . . Schools to bench athletes with E’s