Please don’t sled on this snow!

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Speaking as someone who grew up in snowy Milwaukee, I beg you please, please don’t sled on this snow! I just came in from shoveling this hard-coated mess off my driveway and I want to urge you not to mistake this stuff as sledding snow. I know we don’t get snow often and I know everyone is off of school and it looks like fun. But this stuff is ice. You can’t control a sled on ice. Trust me. It’s physics, really. You want to sled on fluffy snow. You know, like good ski snow. You can steer on powder-like snow. If a tree suddenly looms in your path, you lean to the left or the right and the soft snow gives way beneath your weight and your sled changes direction. I understand Marylanders might not realize this. I’ve seen you out there attacking driveway ice with garden hoes. I see your kids at the bus stop in January wearing shorts. I know snowy weather comes infrequently enough that we all just cancel everything and wait for it to melt. But please take my word for it and don’t try to sled on this ice. Every year we get some horrible report on the news where some perfectly nice family loses a father or a child on an out of control sled that careens into a tree or into traffic. Just stay off the sleds today. Honestly, it’s not that much fun anyway. You want to sled? Go north of the Mason-Dixon line. Way north. And wait for the fluffy stuff to fall. Trust me, it’s a lot more fun.