I knew they weren’t smart birds …


    This is hysterical. Thanksgiving is next week and three wild turkeys are trying to get into my kitchen. No lie. They started yesterday. One waddled up to our kitchen door. No sooner had my husband noticed it than two other showed up right behind. We all had a good laugh. I heard they weren’t smart birds, but come on. We were joking about opening up the oven and seeing if they’d walk right in. Eventually they wandered off and the kids had a good time following the trio as they moseyed into our neighbors’ yards — some of whom actually have the required equipment to bag these birds for the holidays. It appears that no one did. Today, they are back! They’re as comfortable as can be. One has settled down for a nap right in front of my kitchen door. His two buddies are perched — one on a railing and another atop my hose box.

    We’ve had a really avian week. On Thursday, I opened the door to take out the trash and a bird flew into the house. This guy was a lot smaller than the turkeys but not much smarter. We opened all the doors and windows and the bird just kept flying into mirrors. Eventually, my 11-year-old managed to distract it with a flashlight and it made through one of the open doors.

    Now I can hear the turkeys pecking at my house’s siding as I’m putting away my groceries. I’m showing them cranberries. They don’t appear to understand. I’m going to go get my roasting pan. Maybe that will scare them. If any readers out there have any ideas about what to do with these guys, please let me know.